After a few months absence, I've finally gone back to work. This was due to a health scare and I was hospitalized in April. I'm finally have managed to go off many of the medications I was on, primarily for pain. I was even on Methadone. No shit, docters now prescribe it not just to drug addicts but to also people dealing with chronic pain. It definitly had side effects, I started to not think rationally, had severe mood swings and could be paranoid and angered easily. I know now it was due to at least partly to the methadone, because when I went off it, I began to feel like myself again. I'm imbarrassed by some of my actions during that period. It really makes me wonder how former drug addicts who are on this medication deal with these potential side effects. It would seem like being between a rock and a hard place.
I'm currently in the least amount of physical pain I've been in a long time (I have two auto immune diseases). Recovering from my hospital stay took longer than I thought. For one thing, I was anemic and very weak. I often lost my balance throughout the day, if there was something like a table corner or chair near by that I could grab onto, I'de be o.k., but there were plenty of times I would fall on my ass right on the floor. There was also two times in which I took a tumble down the stairs leading down to the garage door of my garage apartment. I also had trouble driving, due to the fact I would become dissoriented and could become lost in places that before my hospitalization were familiar places. My mother began taking to my docters' appointents during that time.
As far as work is going, I'm now about 250 pages into organizing and creating an index for a two thousand page discovery (police reports) on a murder case. It's very tedious. I work for my father who is a criminal defence attorney.
I'm now doing yoga almost daily, after every routine, I say a prayer. I often think of people or animals who are suffering, it makes me develop a feeling as if I have a piece of hot coal in my heart, and I deticate the merit to help alleviate the suffering of all setient beings, and I try to rest in that place for a while, focusing on my heart chakra. I guess that's where aspects of buddhism come in. It's a simple practice.
